She's JV to your varsity
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
