Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
