If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Randomize
