We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
How's work?
Spinning.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
