did you get engaged???
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm really into asian looking animals
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize