You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
