If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
