hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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