Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
