In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
