if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
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Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
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He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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