Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
