when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize