and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
