Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
