do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just pee around me
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
