My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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