I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
