Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
