i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
