you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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