How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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