And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
