She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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