i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
