i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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