Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize