Betty ford says i'm here all night
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I have fence marks all over my body
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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