Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
