We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
