I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize