I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize