i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
