I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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