The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
