I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
