He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
