Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
