watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
please come you make the beer taste better
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
