I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The adults are the big ones right?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
