Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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