he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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