next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
