I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
