I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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