then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
