I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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