ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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