wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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