Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
