listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
