Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry ffsfgrgwerg hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(940): View more from Texas

That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone

Fav 3 961 2012
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(517): View more from Michigan

I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.

Fav 17 1803 4617
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(406): View more from Montana

As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.

Fav 19 5776 1295
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(516): View more from New York

i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.

Fav 10 4346 1727
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(650): View more from California

She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine

Fav 15 3772 1757
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(763): View more from Minnesota

My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away

Fav 5 2351 845
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(775): View more from Nevada

Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...

Fav 5 720 1450
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(303): View more from Colorado

Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.

Fav 0 51 15
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!

Fav 0 97 8
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