he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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