Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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