Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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