i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
