Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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