i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
