i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How does it feel to date your dad?
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