You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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