he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
