Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
