Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
